Straight up & Dirty

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The jackass of them all!

So I decided to be more spontaneous and into "non-dates" this week. I got in touch with a dude from Jdate who I tagged as a beefcake, a meathead and a player. He was all of the above.
The plan was to have dinner together at his place which was intended to be casual with no pressure. I brought over a Greek salad which likely had too many carbs for the guy, so he opted out. He took my coat, offered me a glass of wine and we sat on the couch and chatted. About life, our careers, our families and what we think is funny. He claimed he had to call a client to which I responded, "Do what you gotta do, I don't care". I sensed the guy was full of himself from the 3 phone calls I had with him. My attitude was confirmed once he told me that he knows over 2000 people, most of which live in "his" complex, and once I saw all of his bodybuilding pics strewn around the condo. He does well in his industry. He's a mover and a shaker and as of last night, prior to ever meeting him I told him that he is full of bravado. He still wanted to hang out. I told him that I am not a former bodybuilder and that I'm 5'9, no heels. He said it was all "cool". That height doesn't bother him and I told him that my first (and only real) love is 5'3.
This is where is gets good. He came back from his supposed call to a client and said, and I quote, "You're just not my ideal body type." I responded with, "that's great, because you're nowhere near mine." He said, "You have a beautiful face and great lips". I responded with, "That's great. Would you like me to pick you apart?" He said "no." I asked him if he has "little man syndrome" (he's 5'8/5'7) and he said, "No." His rebuttal to my comment was, "How do you know that I'm not concerned about your height?" The jackass knew that I am 5'9 and it didn't appear to be an issue. I told him that he has no tact and that obviously his mother never taught him that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I told him that he is rude and a jerk. I should have told him that he's not particularly attractive, dresses terribly and has a lisp, but I didn't. Some of us have common sense. I did, however, tell him to have a nice life.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is coming from a guy who calls himself the "condoman" and has a picture on his website wearing a Superman shirt. But the S has been changed to a C. What a fucking douchebag.

12:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! I am speechless...

4:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HOLY H. jerk off.jaw dropping. you should have kicked him in his tiny penis.

7:08 PM  

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