The jar

I'm not interested in participating in activities that I'm not good at. Hence the sports and games I choose to play. I'll play scrabble, but I won't play backgammon. I'll play hockey, but not tennis. I'll cook because I'm good at seasoning and doubling recipes, but only when I can get the fuckin' jar open. I've tried everything. Hot water, smacking the bottom, rubber bands, boiling water, hitting it on the counter and still NO movement. I even went out and bought a silicone gripper to get it open. No luck. My wrist feels like it's going to snap each time I attempt and I've tried at least 1 dozen times. I don't like when I can't do something. It frustrates me. I was calmed by gorgeous surprise flowers sent by my mother. I haven't gotten flowers in months. There's something to be said about the delivery and the anticipation of the card. She's the best. I got a few more things done this afternoon and tomorrow is the preamble to the day of atonement. Oy, am I going to be beating my chest this year?!
My table is to be delivered tomorrow morning at 10 am by the owner of the furniture store, so he says. If he is unable to open the jar, I am taking a hammer to it.